Mary Fuckin’ Poppins

1. Fes is by himself in the basement, trying to complete some forms for employment

“They have a lot of questions in the “D&V” application… Let’s see: Sex? please… lots!; address? if i must… but i prefer pants!; State? nervous, but excited!; Mother’s maiden name? Streisand, but she won’t acknowledge me!!!”

2. Eric receives a phone call from donna, who’s in California. Kitty (his mom) answers ‘cos Eric is .. in the bathroom

Kitty: Eric!! Eric, are you in the bathroom???

Eric: (annoyed) Yes!!!

Kitty: Well, get off, because…

Eric: Mom! When this door is closed, it’s my sacred, alone time! Think of it as church!

Kitty: But…

Eric: Moooom!!!

Kitty: Fine! (talking to herself) Gets up at noon, sits on the toilet ’till dinner, what kind of summer is that?!?!

3. Eric can’t call Donna on the phone to tell her he loves her, so he decided to go to California to get Donna home….

Fes: (when eric hangs up the phone)… and Eric chickens out again. quack! quack! quack!

[ bla bla bla, more talk, not that interesting]

Jackie: look, Eric, just right her a letter, that’s how i broke up with michael! yeah, i was able to take my time, and come up with good synonyms for cowardly-won’t-marry-me-looser-who-run-away-in-california-jackass!

[ some more uninteresting talk]

Eric: you know what? that’s it! i’m going! i’ll just show up in california and like blow her mind. yeah! i mean, when the empire killed luke skywalker’s aunt and uncle, did he just call them up??? Noo!! he hopped in the Millenium Falcon and he payed a little visit to the death star!

Fes: wait a minute! do chickens go quack or did i mess that up too????