Mary Fuckin’ Poppins

1.Kitty and Eric are throwing out all the alcoholic beverages from the house because Red just had a heart attack… Eric talks to Hyde in front of Red and Kitty.

Eric: Man, look at all this! It’s like Dean Martin exploded! There were bottles in the liquor cabinet, the dining room, my mom’s nightstand…

Kitty: Oh, no, no! That’s for polishing furniture!

Eric: Mom, there’s lipstick on it!

Hyde: Just your luck, Forman! You’re about to turn 18 and there’s gonna be no hooch in the house to steal!

Red is giving Hyde the evil eye…

Hyde: I mean, avoid! Do homework next to… pray near… Common!!!

2. Eric is late for the circle… (weed circle)

Eric: Hey! Sorry i’m late, Donna was really upset about leaving, so, i had to comfort her in a “bedular” way… I’ll tell you, if i get her sad, she gives it away like a goldfish in a freakin’ carnival!

Fes: Eric, i think you found the secret “open sesami” to sex! Make the lady cry! Hmmm, perhaps i should try that with my wife! “Laurie, there’s a dead cat! Now do me!!!”

Hyde: Little history, Fes! I think that Laurie has a lot of “open sesamies”, like: “Hi, Laurie!”… That usually does it!

Kelso: Actually, i’ve only gotten as far as “Hi!”… Fes, I did it with your wife!

Eric: Now, i have so much power over Donna that i know how Obi-Wan Kenobi feels! I’m so awesome!

3. Later, Fes tries the “open sesami!” secret he just learned from Eric. He meets Laurie in the laundry
room.

Fes: Hello, darling! I see you are washing your unimaginables…

Laurie: Yeah! Do you know what gets out grass stains and…?

Fes: Anyway! I was thinking how sad you must be, considering the mess have you made of your life… And with all that sadness, do you also not get… needy?

Laurie: You know, i sorta’ do!

Fes: Ali Baba, the treasure is mine!

Laurie: I’m gonna go see if Carlos in home…

Fes: That Carlos is one lucky SOB to have a wife like mine!